I’m still in a daze. I finally stopped avoiding him. I was so happy to hear his voice and see his face. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see someone in my life.
It happened. I dreamt that I was pregnant. This came a lot sooner than I thought it would. That’s it. I fucking give up on sleeping.
I’m glad Nick let me wear his extra name tag 😊
I can not keep a straight face right now. I am positive that my face is red right now.
For the record, it was from Wal🌟Mart. And it is my yoga ball. I’ve been deceived by Kevin.
Malcolm won’t tell me what he’s getting me. He knows I don’t like surprises.
I really need to figure out where he got it from.
I’m going to figure out what store this is so help me god, I fucking swear on my life.
I am pretty sure it’s Wal🌟Mart. I feel it in my soul
Okay, so it’s apparently not Wal🌟Mart
Like idk what :’c
I don’t think you guys understand just how badly I want to know. I’m going to keep complaining about this until I get it, and up until Christmas Eve because he won’t let me open it.
I was with Joseph and a few other friends, and I was taking a picture with him, and some of them just kind of got in it, so I said “Another one, ‘cause you’re mine,” and I looked up at him. After we took it, he looked distant, and someone started talking to me and he walked away and sat at a table with his little sister. I glanced at them, and she was just staring at me while they were talking. I was assuming that it was meant as a ‘rude’ stare or something, kind of like telling me to back off. So I was standing near a table alone, and my friend Alli comes up to me, insinuating that someone had done the deed -or was about to- and she kept asking me if I understood. I wasn’t sure as to what exactly was going on, and everyone was trying to leave so -I’m assuming- Joseph and I could talk.
I don’t know because I woke up before I could find out why everyone was just staring at me and Joseph and why his sister was looking at me like that and why he walked away and what Allie was trying to subtly tell me, but it was going to go down one of two ways.
I’m just at that point, and I want to say ‘Fuck it.’ About the worst thing a person could ever do is fall for a friend. Multiply that by four, and that is my current problem at Lincoln. You’d think that the more you get to know them, the more you will know about their flaws, and stop liking them, but it has the opposite effect. Then you don’t want to open up to them about yourself, but you do. It’s even more discerning when one of the four has knowledge of your feelings for two of them. I hate it, because I feel like I’m at a crossroads, and I don’t know what to do. I want to tell them individually how I feel about them, but I guess I’m so afraid of rejection and expressing my feelings that I can’t.